What was your toughest job?

What has been your toughest job? I have had several that were challenging like painting houses, or as a loan collector calling people who were late on their car payements, or trying to sell computers to auto part store owners in the 80's before company's like Microsoft, Intel, Dell, etc were household names. But the toughest so far as been as a husband to a woman who is 8 months pregnant and as father to a two and half year old. Emotions are running rampant in our household.

I say this of course with tongue in cheek, I love both of these jobs. But my barber of ten years commented last week, "You sure have gotten a lot of gray hair lately." Coincidence? I think not...

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

Fear is a powerful emotion. It is one of the primary reasons that prevent people from doing things. Fear can be quite debilitating. But, God doesn't want our fears to hold us back but he wants us to put our trust in him.

“ In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? ”- Psalm 56:4

There are some fears that are natural and healthy like those that are there to help preserve our safety and well being. But those fears based on our fear of rejection, humiliation, failure, etc. are fears that need to be overcome.

I found a book that has been very helpful to me. It is Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers.

In the book she talks about five truths of fear.

Truth 1 - The fear will never go away as I continue to grow.

This means that fear is healthy and is a sign you are pushing yourself to new limits. If you feel fear then it is a sign that this is a growth opportunity.

Truth 2 - The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it.

We all know this is true. How many times have you been afraid of a new experience but once you do it you realize that there was no reason to fear.

Truth 3 - The only way to feel better about myself is to go out and do it.

Once you face one of your fears you not only begin the process of eliminating the fear but you also build you self-confidence.

Truth 4 - Not only am I going to experience fear whenever I am on unfamiliar territory, but everyone else is.

Everyone has fear, no matter who they are. It is just some don't let the fear get in the way of their actions.

Truth 5 - Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear of helplessness.

How often have you agonized about doing something, had sleepless nights and just an overwhelming feeling of dread? This is much more painful than just doing the act you are afraid of. This was probably the biggest revelation I had when reading the book. Now I try not to let my fears grow and fester but to, in the words of Barney Fife, "Nip it, nip it the bud." :-)

Pick up the book. I highly recommend it for everyone.

TV without Satelite

So what do you watch on a Thursday night when you are out in the country without cable or satelite tv? "Mobile Home Disasters" with Bill Engvall. I'm not kidding, it's a real show. In the same theme as "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition", Bill Engvall makes over some needy families mobil home. You have to see it to believe it.

Who am I

As I mentioned in a previous post we just returned from a family vacation. In our travels we spent a fair amount of time in the car listening to music. Our son loves praise and worship music and he has a variety of favorites. To hear him sing out "Beautiful One" is just a wonderful thing to hear. Well, today we were listening to another one of his favorites and that is a cd by Casting Crowns.

The song "Who am I" really struck me. Here are some of the lyrics.

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt,
Who am I?
That the Bright and Morning Star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart,

Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are,

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean (ocean),
A vapor in the wind,
Still You hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am..
I am Yours.

It just reminds me that we all matter and God cares about everyone of us.

The Joys of Fatherhood #5

We just got back from our first family vacation. We went to Glen Rose, Texas and stayed in a cabin on a working Long Horn ranch. It was remote and relaxing and we had a really great time.

There was a pond about 300 yards from our cabin and Seth and I would gather up rocks and trek up to the pond and throw the rocks into the pond.

I have been told that you can't create quality time, but instead quality time comes out of quantity time. This was true quality time.

On Vacation

We are going on vacation. This will be our first true family vacation that didn't involve going to see family. I am excited and I'm excited for my son because I hope he has a great time.

When we return I will post an update of our travels.

Guilty Pleasures

Do you have any Guilty Pleasures? No, I'm not talking about that marble cheesecake or triple layer chocolate cake. I'm talking about that television show you watch but are a little embarrassed to admit to anyone.

I have had my share over the years. The first one was "Days of Our Lives". I thought I had to be the only 19 year old male watching until I went off to college. We had a group of 10 -12 of us that watched it everyday and even arranged our class schedules so we could watch it.

I then advanced to "Knots Landing". Again, I'm not proud of it.

I think the classic for me had to be "Beverly Hills, 90210". I still can't channel surf past it without stopping and watching.

My latest is "American Idol". I think this season has offered some of the best talent and has come down to two interesting possible winners. I have been pulling for Bo all season because he's not the prototypical Idol. He's older, has long hair and is a rocker. But, I actually picked Carrie as the winner when I saw her first audition (my wife can testify to this). How can you resist a cute blonde, country girl from Oklahoma?

Do you have any "Guilty Pleasures" you are willing to admit to?

God's Plan

God has a plan for all of us but many times if not most we want our plan to be God's Plan. We often forget to ask God what it is he wants for us.

I have been struggling with frustration regarding what direction I need to be taking with some new interest I am perusing. Things have not been progressing as I would like them and I have been questioning what I am doing wrong.

God has been reminding me in multiple ways that I need to just ask. For example, I read this story the other day. How awesome would that be to have that experience I thought?

I then reached over and tore off the present day on my desk calendar that contains a daily devotional and the scripture for that day was

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11.

Then last night I reached over and opened another daily devotional and the scripture was Philippians 4:6

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Then today I have Jeremiah 10:23

I know, O LORD, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps.

I get it, I get it. I'm turning it over to you God and I'm asking you what is it I should do be doing.

Nana, Grandmama, Where are you?

Yesterday was a rough day for all involved. I had a series of minor catastrophes at work that kept me at the office from about 6:30 am to 4:30 pm and by the time I got home I was exhausted and not much help to Shelley.

Then we have a two and half year old whose emotions are all over the map. So much so, that a simple act of putting his "night night" (a blanket) in the washer can send him into a hysterical fit.

And finally we have a wife/mother who is 8 months pregnant. Need I say more....

All of these variable came crashing together last night to where we had a two year old screaming at the top of his lungs from his room, a mother in tears and me in bed curled up in the fetal position.

Nana, Grandmama, Where are you?

Summer in Texas

Its not even June and today was 99 degrees.

The Professor

No, I'm not going to write about Gilligan's Island but instead my brother. Since I am already on the subject of brothers, I thought I would tell one of the many stories I have about my own brother.

When we were little, myself 8,9, or 10 and Tim somewhere between 5 and 7, Tim became quite wise. No matter what you might say, it would be followed by "not necessarily", "that's not true" or any other type of contradictory statement you could think. "Tim, the sky is blue" and you would most definitely get a response like "Not necessarily..".

Since Tim seemed to know so much more than me, I dubbed him "The Professor".

More later on my various nicknames for him...

"Chase is coming"

We are 24 days from having our second son. Seth knows something is about to change and in his words "Chase is coming" and "Brother in mommy's tummy". Now, I don't know if he knows what it all means or what it means that he is going to be a big brother and I'm not sure any of us our prepared. But, ready or not "Chase is coming".

The Joys of Fatherhood #4

My son gets so excited when we tell him we are going to church. He jumps and screams "Yey, Church". It warms my heart that he likes going to church and we don't have to drag him there.

If he grows up with the a heart for the Lord then we did a good job.

When we arrive at church he says "Hi Big Church" (we go to a big church). When we leave he says "Bye, Big Church". :-)

How Geeky are You?

Not as bad as I thought it would be.

Your Geek Profile:

Academic Geekiness: High

Fashion Geekiness: Moderate

Internet Geekiness: Moderate

Movie Geekiness: Moderate

Geekiness in Love: Low

General Geekiness: Low

SciFi Geekiness: Low

Gamer Geekiness: None

Music Geekiness: None

How Geeky Are You?

The Ark of the Covenant

Are we on the verge of finding the Ark of the Covenant, the resting place of the Ten Commandments? Dr. Vendyl Jones, the inspiration for Indiana Jones, thinks he will find it this summer. The famed archaeologist has been searching for the Ark most of his life and believes it is in a secret passage under the The Temple Mount. Link

The Joys of Fatherhood #3

Last night was an all boys night as Shelley had to be out for awhile and when it is just the two of us, things run a little differently.

It took us 2 grocery store runs with each time Seth carrying out the bag of items needed to make dinner. He was very pleased to be my helper.

We didn't finish dinner until after 7 pm because of all of the grocery store runs so we missed KinderMusik which was a disappointment for me but Seth seemed fine.

Bedtime has become a challenge in our household recently but last night was a huge success. After his bath we settled in for an episode of Dragon Tales. Now my preference is Little Bear but he wanted Dragon Tales.

After watching the show we began the process of trying to put him to bed which lately has been a bit dramatic. But last night we read 4 stories, prayed and kissed good night. Big victory for me!

So, in the end we ate, he had a bath, we played, there was only 1 injury and he went right to sleep so all and all I have to say our boys night was a success.

The Ordeal

In my post Where were you in 1977? I commented that Elvis had died in 1977. You know how there are those events in your life where you will always remember where you were when they happened? For me it is things like 9/11, Oklahoma City, The Challenger and Columbia disasters, and the death of Elvis. Why Elvis? I don't know, I was never an Elvis fan but when I was 10 years old, somehow I knew this was pretty big.

Now, fast-forward 20 years to 1997. I started dating my wife in 1997 and to say she is an Elvis fan would be an understatement. I won't go into detail but suffice it to say she likes Elvis.

We had been dating 4 or 5 months when one day she asked if I wanted to go to Memphis in August to participate in "Death Week". This is the week around August 16th(when Elvis died) when there are all sorts of festivities commemorating his life and death. Plus this one was going to be extra big because it was the 20th anniversary. Since it was the 20th anniversary there had already been numerous specials on VHI, Biography, A&E and the History channel about Elvis and being the good boy friend I was, I want to learn as much as I could so I could share in her interest. So, I had developed a little fascination with it and the trip was going to be inexpensive so I agreed to go.

When we got to Memphis she had several activities planned including going to Graceland, touring some of the other various museums like his planes and going to a kind of virtual concert. But, the Grand Daddy of them all was the candlelight vigil.

You see, every year on the anniversary of Elvis' death fans flock to Graceland and the night before they have a candlelight vigil where people carry candles up the driveway of Graceland and around the gravesite. No big deal I thought.

Well, we got to Graceland promptly at 9 pm when the vigil was scheduled to start and a few people had already gotten there before us. Actually, the line snaked up and down Elvis Presley Boulevard probably 10 -12 times. But, being the supportive boy friend I was, we promptly took our place in line and there we stood. Slowly, the line moved as the hours passed and finally at 4 am with candle in hand, I passed by the gravesite of Elvis Presley.

Yes, you read that right, 4 AM! I stood in line for 7 HOURS to carry a candle past a grave and I didn't complain about it. And until this post, I have never ever brought it up again. (I'm sure Shelley will have a comment contradicting that). But I would have done anything for her then.

Actually, I still would do anything for her, including standing in line 7 hours to carry a candle past Elvis' grave.

I love you Shelley!

The Joys of Fatherhood #2

My boy is just too cute. An entry from Shelley's blog.

We are all sinners

A friend of my wife's recently posted on her a blog a story about a Christian or a "Believer" as she put it that made a derogatory comment about her son. She took this as an opportunity to make it an indictment on all Christians and say we are all hypocrites.

First, I think it is important for Christians to remember that we are being watched. Whether they have a warped worldview that they are just trying to justify or maybe they are a seeker looking for direction, they are watching our actions.

Second, words are powerful and the tongue can be very dangerous. The Bible is full of scripture where God warns us about the power of words.

So, there isn't any excuse to say hurtful things whether you are a Christian or not.

But, now I want to speak to the non-believer or the seeker. When someone says they are a Christian, they aren't saying they are better than you, or they live a perfect life or that they are without sin. They are actually saying the opposite; that they know they are flawed, they are a sinner and they are going to make mistakes. But, they have turned their life over to Christ and they recognize that God sent his only son to live a perfect life on Earth and then die on the Cross for your sin and mine.

Where were you in 1977?

I lived in Urbandale, Iowa in 1977 and I was 10 years old. There were several significant events that occurred in 1977 including Jimmy Carter taking office as President. But, there were two that stand out in my memory. One of those was the death of Elvis but I am going to save that one for another post. The other was Star Wars being released in the theaters in 1977.

Star Wars is the first movie I can ever remember seeing in the theater. I'm sure I had seen other movies in the theater prior to that but they didn't make an impression on me like Star Wars. Two of my friends and myself were dropped off at the theater and the line seemed like it was 2 miles long. (Parents, can you imagine dropping your 10 year old off at the movie theater today?). Once we were in the theater I'm sure my mother wouldn't have been pleased with my behavior but once the movie started and those famous words "A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far, Far Away..." scrolled up the screen, we were transfixed. I had never seen or imagined a movie like Star Wars.

Star Wars was and still is a unique film that has stood the test of time. There aren't many movies that you could watch 28 years later and not feel it is "dated". Also, the story has gone across several generations. There are people standing in line as I write this to watch the midnight showing of Episode III who weren't even born when Star Wars came out.

So, why is the Star Wars story so popular? Maybe it's because it can make a 38-year-old feel like a 10 year old again.

The Joys of Fatherhood #1

A friend just gave me a wonderful little book called "The Joys of Fatherhood" and I thought I would start a series in my blog called "The Joys of Fatherhood" where I could share those little things that make being a father so special.

My blog title is "The Journey of a Happily Married Man with Two Kids" and it is a little misleading. Yes, I am happily married but currently we only have 1 son, Seth, but in 27 days we will have another son, Chase.

The Joys of Fatherhood #1

Hearing my son's sweet voice say "Hi, daddy" when he sees me.

Good Bye Jack

An era of greatness is coming to an end. On July 14 at St. Andrews Jack Nicklaus will tee it up for the last time in a competitive tournament. It is true that Jack hasn't been a force in competitive golf for quite some time but as long as he was playing, there was the hope he would do it just one more time.

My biggest sports regret is that I didn't watch the 1986 Masters. I don't know why except I was in college and just very busy. I had watched the final round of the Masters every year for probably the 6 years previous and I have seen every one since. But, I missed what in my mind was the finest Masters ever as Jack Nicklaus at 46 became the oldest player to win the Masters as well as the only one with 6 titles.

You see, Jack Nicklaus was my sports hero when I was growing up. If ever given the opportunity for one sports fantasy it would be to play a round of golf with Jack and to make it even grander to play it at Augusta National.

Many argue that Tiger is the best to ever play the game but you won't hear that from me. Until he has 19 major tournament victories it will always be Jack and if he ever does win number 19, in my mind it will still be Jack. Arnie made the game popular but Jack defined it. He set the bar for greatness and everyone will always be in his shadow. Would Tiger be as motivated to play if he wasn’t chasing Jack?

Just a few numbers from Jack's career:
73 PGA Tour Victories
18 Major Title Victories - Record
6 Masters Victories - Record
4 US Open Victories - Record
5 PGA Victories - Record
17 Years consecutive top 10 on the money list - Record
8 Years Number 1 on the money list - Record

Good Bye Jack, I'll miss you.

What Makes A Good Blog

I thought I would post this entry by Brian Bailey who is the Web Director at Fellowship Church and he created this post on what it takes to Build a Better Blog. Hopefully as my blog develops I will be able to follow much of Brian's advice.

Building a Better Blog

Here are my Top 10 ideas for how to build a better blog, now gathered in one place, and featuring a special Greatest Hits Collection Bonus Track!

1. Use Categories

If you publish all of your writing to one location, but regularly write on a wide variety of topics, do your readers a favor and utilize categories. This will allow an interested reader to quickly view all of your posts on network security, while avoiding the day-by-day emotional swings of your child's soccer season.

2. Use Titles

As much as possible, title your posts. This works best when your posts are fairly original and somewhat lengthy, but can be ignored if your blog is primarily links to other sites and posts. The benefits are two-fold. First, Google seems to place a large value on titles, especially when others link to a post. Second, your readers who follow your site using a news reader/aggregator will appreciate being able to quickly scan your titles for posts of interest.

3. Publish During High Traffic Times

If one of your desires is to generate traffic, try to publish during high traffic hours. Many people scan weblogs.com and other services (including TypePad and many TypePad member sites) for recently updated weblogs. Also, publishing during prime waking/working hours will give other writers time to comment, link, or respond to your post. A brilliant post in the middle-of-the-night will often get buried by the morning rush of fresh content.

4. Syndicate Your Entire Post

Again, in the never-ending effort to ensure happy readers, be sure to syndicate (i.e. send) your entire post through RSS. I follow over 75 weblogs (which is probably a low number on average). With the amount of time it takes to keep up with the constant stream of information, it is a great benefit to be able to read each post in its entirety without a separate trip to the browser. I know it is especially tempting for businesses to try to drive traffic to their site by forcing readers to visit the website in order to read the full article, but inevitably I end up unsubscribing from those sources instead.

5. Click Your Own Links

When you post an article that links to other post or blogs, be sure to click those links after you post. First, this simply verifies that your links work, which is always a good QA check. Second, this will cause your site to show up in the stats and referrer logs of the sites you link to. Most bloggers track their traffic and referrers religiously, so this will make sure they are aware of your post as soon as it's been published.

6. Develop an Authentic Voice

Obviously, this is the most important element of a successful weblog and a daily struggle. If you are authentic, honest, and original, you will find readers who care about what you write. And if you write about what you know and what you are passionate about, you can assure that your readers are informed and entertained. Resist the temptation to imitate your favorite weblogs while still leaving room to learn from the best.

7. Tell Us Who You Are and How to Contact You

I often find myself on an interesting blog and decide I'd like to link to it or contact the author. Other times, I might find an opinion unique or challenging, but then realize that I don't know whether the writer is an employee or user.

A surprising number of weblogs have none of this information. Often weblogs start as a way of communicating with a small number of people who know each other well. But you can be sure that soon Google will find you, and then others will land on your site and they need to be able to get the basics about you quickly. You don't want to be dismissed as a gadfly when you're actually the lead developer for a highly anticipated piece of software.

So, unless you have specific reasons for confidentiality, include your full name, position and role (if your blog is related to your professional life), and a way to contact you directly.

8. Don't Be Afraid to Promote

I've written a number of posts that I thought would be of interest to other bloggers or sites, such as Robert Scoble, MacSurfer, and Hacking Netflix. My first hope was that the writing would be so captivating that the posts would slowly rise to the top of the blogosphere and be noticed. Not a good plan!

My second hope was that by linking to these sites and clicking on those links, my site would show up in the referrer logs for those sites, which would spark curiosity and bring my post to their attention. This works fairly well, but relies on the site owners and authors religiously monitoring their traffic or subscribing to weblog search sites such as PubSub and Feedster. Better, but still inadequate.

Finally, I stumbled upon a brilliant, but underused technique: Tell them about it!. People who are active in the weblog world are active precisely because they are curious people who are always looking for new perspectives. I find that sending a short, polite email that introduces yourself, offers a thank you or general kindness regarding their site, and then brings your post to their attention, is generally very successful. I never specifically ask for a link and wouldn't recommend it. Your purpose is simply to be read by people you respect and if you achieve that, you have been successful. The choice of whether to link to your site is entirely up to them.

9. Comment on Other Sites and Your Own

All of us crave feedback. When people post comments or send you an email about something you've written, you're reassured that your effort is worthwhile and having an impact, however small, on others.

What's the best way to encourage feedback? Simple: do unto others! Commenting on other sites not only benefits other writers, but it's a great way to get your own site noticed by people who would not normally find you. It's hard to expect others to give feedback if you're not willing to do it yourself.

In a related note, when people do take the time to leave a comment or send you an email, be sure to respond promptly and thank them for dropping by. There should never be a lonely "Comments (1)" on one of your own posts.

10. The More You Write, the More You'll Have to Write About

Despite the fact that this sounds like a bad line from a fortune cookie, it's been proven time and time again. Nearly everyone who starts a blog asks themselves, "What in the world am I going to write about?" The best advice I can give is to just start writing with as little self-criticism as possible. As your mind gets used to writing, you'll start thinking of new ideas without even trying. You'll naturally begin seeing writing opportunities all over the place, in conversations, reading, driving, shopping, or even in church. Whenever I'm talking to my fellow bloggers, I find myself saying, "That's a blog post!" But before that happens, you need to start writing more and thinking about writing less.

[Bonus Track] Content Brings Google

Do not underestimate the power of Google as you raise your site's traffic. As you're content grows and your posts are linked to or commented on, search engines will bring more and more visitors. Google in particular seems to highly value weblog posts in their rankings, allowing rather small blogs to show up on the first page of search results with large, established corporate sites. I estimate that over 20% of my daily traffic is from search engine traffic. Many of these people read the related post, but then spend a short time browsing the rest of the site, which is another reason why Tell Us Who You Are and How to Contact You is so important. I also recommend placing a Where Do I Start? collection of your best, most representative writing on the front page to help people get up to speed quickly.

My First Entry

I have become a big fan of Blogs and have created a list of about 70 that I follow regularly. I even created one for my wife and her's is by far my favorite and I highly recommend it (check out A Proverbs 31 link in my Links section). Well, I have finally decided to jump in and create my own. So, what will my Blog be about? It will cover a variety of topics that interest me, which include my family, my faith, technology, leadership and management, politics, sports and real estate.

The purpose of my Blog will be to entertain, inform, amuse, and hopefully never bore.