One of the first things Shelley and I began learning when we started attending counseling is the power of vocabulary. Our counselor began removing certain words and replacing them with others. One of those is the word "should."
How often do you say "My wife should...." or "I should...."
Try replacing "should" with "beneficial." "It would be beneficial if I did.." or "Honey, it would be beneficial if ..."
The response you get from people is amazing. They will be much more receptive to what you are saying.
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