The Story of a Lifetime - The Meaning of Life

The Meaning of Life

This is part 4 of the series The Story of  a Lifetime that Shelley and I are doing.



This is a hard one for me so I did what I always do when I’m looking for an answer to a question I went to Google.  A Google search for “The Meaning of Life” brings up 102 million results.  Ok, so it’s not an original question.

Next stop was Dictionary.Com to find some definitions of “Meaning”.  Here are some of the results.

To have as a purpose or an intention
To design, intend, or destine for a certain purpose or end
An interpreted goal, intent, or end

So, maybe the question can be “What is the purpose of life?”

I believe we are wired to worship. God created us to worship him but he didn’t require it so that is why so many choose other Gods or material items as their choice of worship.  

I also believe we have another purpose that God created us and that is Evangelism.

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit - Matthew 28:29

I know that this response may have been a more simplified answer to this age-old question but I believe the Bible explains that life isn’t that complicated but it isn’t easy.  Life starts getting complicated when people start searching for answers to their questions and fail to turn to God and the Word of God for those answers.

2005 In Review

Just a few highlights from 2005

1. Chase was born 6/14
2. We said good bye to Dusty
3. Shelley and I both started Blogs
4. First family vacation to Glen Rose, TX
5. Hurricane Katrina
6. Seth told us for the first time "I wuv you"
7. Chief Justice Renquist died and Judge Roberts selected as his replacement.
8. Chase rolled over, had his first real food and got 2 teeth.
9 Seth started using the potty and has been almost 2 weeks without diapers as of this writing.
10. Iraq had its first Elections.
11. Patriots won the Super Bowl, Spurs win NBA Championship, there was no Stanley cup winner because the NHL was on strike, and the White Soxs won the World Series.
12 Tiger Woods won the Masters and British Open, Phil Mickelson won the PGA and Michael Campbell won the U.S. Open.

Novel in 30 Days

My friends Paul and Tammara got me hooked on this idea of writing a novel in 30 days. They found this book called No Plot? No Problem! A low strees, High Velocity Guide to Writing a Novel in 30 Days.

They have been at it for about 2 weeks and each have written over 20,000 words.

I've purchased the book and am going to give it a shot.

The concept is that you just need to start writing and not concern yourself with making it perfect, just get words on paper and then go back later and clean it up.

The object is to write 50,000 words in 30 days or 1,667 words a day. I plan on starting January 1 and will post updates on my progress.

Pray for me...

Just me and The Boys

A few days ago I worked from home and watched the boys while Shelley went to her office for a meeting. Things were going fine for the first thirty minutes and then...

Just moments before I was going to ask Seth if he needed to go potty, he got this stunned look on his face and then his sweats got drenched in pee. Not only did he pee he also pooped his pants so I swept him up and ran to the bathroom to clean him up and change his clothes.

At this exact moment Chase started acting fussy. I figured he was needing something to eat so I finished cleaning up Seth, threw the clothes in the washer, read him a quick story and tucked him in for his nap.

I then ran to Chase, scooped him up to take him to the kitchen to make a bottle but to my surprise I pulled back a hand full of poop. His diaper had overflowed all the way up to the mid-part of his back and now I had a handful of poop.

Now, I can handle a lot of things but poop and blood are two things I can't handled especially if its not mine. So, I screamed like a little girl, fought back my gag reflex and raced him to the other bathroom to wash my hands (yes, that was my priority) and then clean him up.

My jeans fell victim to this as well as the carpet and a few towels.

So, within thirty minutes of Shelley being gone, both boys had pooped themselves, we had all changed clothes and the washer was working overtime. But, we didn't have to make any runs to the emergency room and when Shelley returned she still had two little boys and a husband so I consider it a successful time of watching the boys.

Yak Shaving

I often find myself shaving a lot of Yaks. What does that mean, you ask?

Well, MIT Media Lab turned it into a computer term about 5 years ago and it is defined as:

Any seemingly pointless activity which is actually necessary to solve a problem which solves a problem which, several levels of recursion later, solves the real problem you're working on.

Here is a non-technical way to explain it:

"I want to wax the car today."

"Oops, the hose is still broken from the winter. I'll need to buy a new one at Home Depot."

"But Home Depot is down the tollway and getting there without my toll tag is miserable because of the tolls."

"But, wait! I could borrow my neighbor's toll tag...."

"Bob won't lend me his toll tag until I return the mooshi pillow my son borrowed, though."

"And we haven't returned it because some of the stuffing fell out and we need to get some yak hair to restuff it."

And the next thing you know, you're at the zoo, shaving a yak, all so you can wax your car.

I find myself doing this whenever I am working in the yard, working on my car, cleaning the house or basically any type of activity.

Do you often find yourself Shaving a Yak?

Where The Wild Things Are

Where The Wild Things Are is one of the few children's books that I can remember from my childhood. In fact, if you asked me to name some prior to having kids I probably would have named a few Dr. Seuss' books and Where the Wild Things Are. I think it really sparked my imagination when I was younger.

Well, we bought Seth a copy for Christmas and it has become one of his favorites too. We have to read it every night and a few times during the day as well. He says he wants to "read about Max" (Max is the little boy in the book).

It is one of those timeless treasures.

Optical Illusion

Go here and see a pretty cool optical illusion. Shows that what you think you see isn't always what you are actually seeing.

This is legit and there isn't going to be some monster jump out and scream at you so feel safe in staring at the screen.

Christmas 2005

Here is a little recap of this year's Christmas.

It was Chase's first Christmas and while he is only 6 months old and doesn't truly understand what it is all about, you only have 1 first Christmas.

This was my first Christmas in 16 years without Dusty and as anticipated I missed her.

This was Seth's third Christmas and he is finally started to understand and anticipate the day and getting presents.

As tradition holds, we went to Shelley's Grandmother's for Christmas on Christmas Eve. Shelley counted 55 people there at one point (out of a possible 90+) and this is in a house that isn't 2000 sq.ft.

Seth loves being up there and all of his cousins take very good care of one of the youngest members of the family. Jake let him play football for a little while with the "big boys", Shane and Garrett kept him entertained with a variety of games and Jessica just kept an eye out for him when he wanted to go out side.

Chase is the youngest member of family right now and he kept all of his cousins entertained. He was passed from lap to lap and everyone was just delighted with his demeanor. Again, there were many comments that just prove, "it's not just us".

This was the year of musical instruments and trains. Seth got a ukulele and an accordion to go with his growing list of instruments. Chase got his own assortment of Kinder Musik instruments that he is truly enthralled with. We got Seth a wooden train table and train set and I have to admit, it's pretty cool. He also got a variety of accessories to go with it that have added to the fun. There were many other items to lengthy to list but they have loved everything they received.

This evening Chris, Valerie, April and Brannon came to visit. Seth eagerly awaited their arrival all day, continually asking about Chris and Valerie. When they arrived he literally jumped for joy and took everyone into the play room to show them all of his new things.

This visit was capped off with a jam session between Seth and April that words can't describe. April was on guitar and Seth was playing his new pitch pipe. A video will soon be released of this awesome session. Amazingly, Chase slept through it all.

Merry Christmas

Out of My League?

Today Shelley and I had a conversation that started about dreams but then led to a conversation about how women are attracted to men with money and power and men are attracted to women based on appearance. Read about the conversation here.

We agreed that men with power and money had a greater selection when it came to women and that women used such filters as the type of car, dress, job, etc. to quickly evaluate the man's earning power. Men are attracted to women initially based on their appearance and the more wealthy and powerful men could choose from the more attractive women. This ends up putting everyone in their own "league" per se.

Shelley implied that when we met, I didn't initially measure up to her standard for financial security but she saw potential. This indicates that she felt I wasn't in her league but she was willing to date down because of some potential she saw.

This leads me to wonder if she was correct or had she miscalculated what league she was in.

If she miscalculated what league she was in and now that I have elevated to a much higher earnings status and thus a different league, am I eligible to change leagues?

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm???

Online Safety for Kids

I got these links from Musings on Information Security. I thought I would pass these on to people who aren't so geeky that they read blogs on Information Security.

This is an article from the FBI website for parents.

http://www.fbi.gov/publications/pguide/pguidee.htm

And here are some kids rules for online safety.

http://www.safekids.com/kidsrules.htm

Joys of Fatherhood #18

Seth

Seth is at his Grandmama's and today I called to talk with him. When he was called to the phone and told it was me, I could hear him scream with joy as he ran to the phone. He then quickly recapped his visit of which I didn't understand much of what he said but he ended with a "I love you" and some kisses into the phone. He was then gone as quickly as he had arrived.

Chase

Chase has learned how to make a raspberry like sound and he is really enjoying his new skill. It is fun to watch him fine tune his craft and the joy in his face. He also has the cutest laugh.

No Christmas Service on Sunday

There is a big debate in Christian and non-Christian circles about some churches choosing not to have services on Sunday, Christmas Day. Here is a good article on the subject. I fall on the side that it isn't that big of a deal if a church chooses not to worship on Christmas Sunday, especially if they are offering 11 other services that week as my church is.

But, I think the more important issue is the NFL's decision not to play many games on Christmas Day. Of the 15 NFL games this week, only 2 are being played on Sunday. While Sunday is known for church worship, I think it is known equally for NFL football. I am not sure why there isn't more of an uproar about this because I am very disappointed that I won't be able watch football on Sunday.


p.s. - my tongue is firmly planted in my cheek.

The Story of a Lifetime - Higher Education

This is Part 3 of the series The Story of a Lifetime that Shelley and I are doing.

Where did I go to college and why?

Read Shelley's answer here.

I went to high school in a small town called Kearney, Missouri, just 22 miles north of Kansas City. During my senior year all my friends were picking their colleges and most were choosing the directional state schools. You know, South East Missouri State, North West Missouri State, etc. Some also chose the University of Missouri or the University of Kansas. But, I knew I wanted to be different and go somewhere out of state. The problem was, I didn't know where. I had grown up a University of Arkansas fan and loved the Razorbacks but for some reason that just didn't feel right to me.

I procrastinated the decision and it got to where I had to make one or I would miss critical deadlines so I just chose a small private college 10 miles from my house called William Jewel College. My thought was I would live at home and would spend my freshman year looking for a college.

I quickly found that I really like the small private college atmosphere and that became a key element of my search.

My best friend at the time, Eric Lambertus, had gotten a full academic scholarship to Texas Christian University. So in January of my freshman year I made a journey to Fort Worth to spend the weekend with him and check out TCU. I instantly fell in love with it. It had everything I was looking for. It was a small private school but it also played big time Division I sports. It was in the Southwest Conference of which I was very familiar with because of my love of the Razorbacks. They even played in the Blue Bonnet Bowl against West Virginia that year and I got to watch them on TV. That impressed me so I decided to transfer.

The rest is history..

A Christmas Poem

I read this at Lori's World and just had to pass it on.

Thank You to all of our troops for what you are doing.

A DIFFERENT CHRISTMAS POEM

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.

Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.

My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,
Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
A lone sentry with his rifle, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light.
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."

"It's my duty to stand in the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.

My Gramps died at 'Pearl on a December day,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."


My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.

Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.

"I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."

"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?"
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us.

Missing an Old Friend

My heart has been heavy lately and I have been trying to surpress it but Shelley wrote a post that brought all of the emotions to the surface. I can't say it better so just go here to read it.

History in the Making

Iraqis are going to the poll today in an historic election as they vote to elect their new parliament. In 3 years the Iraqis have gone from dictator to democracy. It took the United States 13 years from the time the Revolutionary War started to the first ballots for President were cast.

It is an amazing thing the Iraqis have been able to accomplish.

Buried Car

I saw this on Bag of Nothing.

Apparently, in 1957, the city of Tulsa, Oklahoma buried a brand new 1957 Plymouth Belvedere along with a variety of other items under the front lawn of the Tulsa County Courthouse. Citizens of Tulsa were asked to guess what the population of Tulsa would be in the year 2007. The guesses were then recorded on microfilm and sealed in a steel container buried with the car. When the car and artifacts are excavated, the person whose guess is closest to Tulsa‘s 2007 population is to be awarded the Belvedere. If that person is dead, the car is to be awarded to his or her heirs.

Go here for more information.

Working from Home

First, a disclaimer. I have never once said or thought that what Shelley does is easy. I also, have never come home and wondered what she had done all day as everyone was still in their pajamas.

Shelley had to go to her office today so I worked from home and took care of the boys. We all had a good time together and everything went rather smoothly but I have to say I am looking forward to going to work tomorrow so I can get some rest.

I love you honey!!!

Chase is 6 Months Old

Today Chase turned 6 months old. Time has really flown by, it just seems like yesterday we were in the hospital with him.

Happy Birthday little one...

I want Christmas back

I was going to stay out of this discussion but I just can't. December 25th is Christmas, the day Jesus was born and a day millions of Christians around the world celebrate. Why is everyone trying to disguise what this time of year is about by saying "Happy Holidays", "Seasons Greetings", etc. Just say Merry Christmas because that is what it is all about. If in September they want to say "Happy Ramadan", or in November "Happy Diwali", or "Merry Kwanzaa", feel free. If a clerk tells me "Merry Kwanzaa", I'll just politely say "Thank You", take my change and be on my way. Just be honest that this time of year is about Christmas and that this is a country of Christians and that is what we are all celebrating.

Something New I Just Learned

After 2 years of dating and over 6 years of marriage, tonight I learned my wife can make a pretty mean paper airplane. Pretty cool, I wonder what other surprises she has for me?

Cowboys vs. Chiefs

It was 1972 when I first became a Dallas Cowboys fan, I was 6 years old. We moved to Kansas City in 1978 when I was 12 and that is when I became a Kansas City Chiefs fan. Fortunately they are in different conferences and I have been able to share allegiances. But, they have played 6 six times since 1978 and tomorrow will be the 7th. In the past I don't remember the games being important to both teams so I was always able to root for the team that the win would help the most. I don't have that luxury tomorrow because both of them need this win badly. I have thought about it and I don't think I will be disappointed either way but I am going to be pulling for the Cowboys. I have been a fan longer and I have always bled blue and silver.

Update: - Wow! What a game. It was a bitter sweet victory for me because I really love my Chiefs and hate to see them lose, especially since they are in such a tight playoff race.

Seven Things

Bowden tagged me with the seven seven's meme. Here it goes:

Seven Things I want to Do Before I Die:
1. See both of my boys accept Christ and get baptized.
2. Write a book
3. Go to the Master's
4. Play a round of Golf at Augusta National
5. Go to Israel
6. Be Self Employed
7. Ride in a Hot Air Balloon.

Seven Things I Cannot Do:
1. Dance
2. Sing
3. Work on my car
4. Pick out clothes that match. I'm color blind.
5. Imagine not being married to my wife and having my kids
6. Give up Diet Coke
7. Understand Liberals

Seven Things That Attract Me To My Wife (romantic interest, best friend, whatever applies to you)
1. Her Beauty
2. Her wonderful sense of humor
3. Her spontaneity
4. She's a wonderful mother
5. Her "spunkiness" (if you know her, you know what I mean)
6. The way she takes care of me. She is an awesome helper.
7. Her commitment to family.

Seven Things I Say Most Often
1. I need a Diet Coke
2. I love you to my wife.
3. I'm going to go work out.
4. I've got a problem at work.
5. What's for dinner?
6. I'll try
7. I've got a meeting.

Seven Books, Or Series, That I Love
1. The Bible
2. The Case For Christ by Lee Strobel
3. Tom Clancy's First 5 books
4. Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway
5. The Millionaire Next Door
6. The Stand by Steven King
7. 2001: A Space Odyssey by Arthur C. Clarke

Seven Movies I Would Watch Over and Over Again
1. Citizen Kane
2. Caddy Shack
3. Star Wars
4. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
5. The Graduate
6. Blazing Saddles
7. Bill and Ted's Most Excellent Adventure



Seven People I Want To Join In To
1. Shelley - A Proverbs 31 Woman
2. Paul - Where to From Here
3. Terry Storch
4. Brian Bailey - Leave It Behind
5. Perry Noble
6. Jeremy - Life of An Ant
7. Michelle - Mommy of Angels

Technology I Can Live Without

Several months ago we lost our electricity for about three hours, it drove me absolutely nuts. We also had our refigerator go out not long ago and again, I was just craving something cold. If we were to lose our satelite tv I don't know what I would do and I don't even want to think about losing our internet connection. But, a few days ago our microwave broke and I haven't even noticed it. We still have five more days before a repairman can get out to fix it and I am not marking the days off of the calendar.

I also would love to get rid of my cell phone if my job would allow it. Actually, I would love to get rid of phones entirely, I can survive with email only. That sounds pretty anti-social doesn't it?

What technology could you live without?

Joys of Fatherhood #17

Seth made a big step in his potty training today and he actually went and peed in the potty on his own. Now he hasn't done it since so we aren't over the mountain yet but we are making progress.

But, potty training isn't what this is about, it's about watching my kids learn something new. Whether it is Seth learning he can actually pee in the potty, or how he has learned to take cough medicine on his own or watching Chase get so close to crawling, it is just a thrill to see.

I hope I can always enjoy the thrill of them experiencing something new.

What Part of No Don't I Understand?

Today at dinner Seth didn't have anything to drink. Shelley had asked him earlier and he had politely declined but I thought I would ask again. Here was our conversation:

Me: Seth, would you like some orange juice or gatorade or maybe a Sprite?
Seth: Nope
Me: Well, just let me know because I will gladly get you something.
Seth: Didn't I say nope?

The Story of a Lifetime - Love and Marriage

This is the second installment of this joint series between Shelley and myself. You can read her version here.

What was your first year of marriage like? What was the hardest adjustment you had to make that first year? What things did you argue about most in the early years? How did you and your significant other resolve conflict?

Shelley and I got married during the summer of 1999 and from the start it proved that it would be a challenge.

The first thing we did when we got married was rent a house, the "yellow house." The owner had painted the house canary yellow and he had even painted the mailbox the same color. You can see a good picture of it over at Shelley's blog. Painting the house yellow wasn't the only unusual thing about the owner of the house, he also would just "pop in" at night because he claimed that he either forgot our phone number or it had changed. He was usually drunk when he would do this.

Since we were married in the summer that also meant that Shelley's brother's kids were visiting for the summer and since Shelley had always had the bigger place to live, the kids always stayed with her. This meant our house was usually full with our niece, nephew, Shelley's brother and her mom. This didn't really cause any problems but it did make the first few months of marriage interesting.

One of our first arguments revolved around house cleaning. I had always lived previously with other people that were very neat oriented and this had become my way as well. Shelley on the other hand didn't have house cleaning as a priority but this wasn't something that was a surprise to me. So, I figured that once we were married I would take this responsibility. Well, I remember Shelley getting upset with me because either when I got home from work or on Saturday's I would be cleaning and she felt I needed to be spending that time with her. One of our first arguments was passive aggressive and revolved around a sugar canister. I came through the kitchen one day and their was a sugar container on the counter so I just put it up in the cabinets. Apparently Shelley wanted it on the counter and she replaced it back on the counter. The next time I saw it on the counter, I put it back in the cabinet. Everybody Loves Raymond had an episode that revolved around whether Ray or Debra were going to move a suitcase up stairs, this was very similar. If you read this post on Shelley's blog you will see that this is something we are still working on.

We also had disagreements around finances. I was 32 and Shelley was 30 when we got married and we both had been on our own for awhile. Shelley actually made more money than me at the time and she was use to spending "her money" "her way" and to say I am a little frugal would be kind. Hours of counseling has finally helped us work through this issue.

Our biggest challenge to our marriage came six months into it. Shelley's company offered her a significant promotion and raise but it was going to require us to relocate to Lafayette, Louisiana. I knew if Shelley wasn't married to me she would jump on this opportunity but I wasn't prepared to move. So, we made an agreement with her company that she would take the job on a trial basis and we would make a decision in 6 months. But, this still required her to move to Lafayette where she got her own apartment. She would fly home Friday night and would fly back to Louisiana on Monday morning. Having only been married six months and now only seeing each other two days a week was a big challenge and we ultimately decided Dallas would be our home.

Pandora

Brian Bailey at Leave it Behind turned me onto this.

How would you like to create your own radio station or control the format of your favorite radio statio? Well with Pandora you can almost do that.

You can create different "Stations" based on your favorite artist or song. It will then play songs that have similar musical qualities. You can then vote as to whether you liked a song or not and this will enable it to "learn" and provide a better match in the future. And, if you like a song you can link directly to iTunes and buy that song or go to Amazon and buy the album.

Check it out...

Recycling

We don't (or at least didn't) recycle and I'm not ashamed to say it. But, yesterday I got a message from Shelley asking "Where is our recycling container?"

Me: You me the one we got when we moved in 5 years ago?
Her: Yes
Me: In the attic. I'm using it to store some leftover building supplies. Isn't that what it's suppose to be used for?
Her: I want to start recycling.

So, when I got home she had sorted out that day's trash and had the recycling items laid out.

Me: What has gotten into you?
Her: Just wanting to do my part.

So, up in the attic I go, clean out the blue container and drag it down.

Then we start going through the trash. We can recycle this, throw this away, recycle this except for lid and so on. I then found out I also had to rinse everything out as well.

Now, I am having to organize my trash and to make things worse I have to CLEAN my trash.

It is TRASH, why can't I just throw it away?